


I'll Be Here for You

by CaptainKathryn



Category: The Book of Mormon - Ambiguous Fandom, The Book of Mormon - Parker/Stone/Lopez
Genre: Arnold is a really good friend, Comfort, Connor Deserves Happiness, Eventual Romance, Friendship, He's been turning it off for way too long, Hurt!Kevin, Hurt/Comfort, Kevin deserves happiness too but he's trying to sort out his feelings, Love, M/M, Mention of rape (canon), Rape Aftermath, Secret Crush, Slow Burn, mcpriceley
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-13
Updated: 2017-11-28
Packaged: 2018-10-04 06:37:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 17,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10270472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainKathryn/pseuds/CaptainKathryn
Summary: Kevin Price is hurt, broken, and humiliated after he is assaulted by the General. He grows closer to Arnold and Connor as they try to help him heal his body and heart. A story of healing, friendship, and love. McPriceley.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: Mentions of rape
> 
> Setting: Takes place directly after Price sings "I Believe". The Africans have not been baptized yet and Elder Price has gone missing after abruptly leaving to confront the General.

Elder Price's face burned with the intense heat of embarrassment and shock as he shakily walked back to the mission house alone, the skin within his backside burning hot with a fury he couldn't have imagined in his wildest dreams. He couldn't believe how _stupid_ he had been…who did he think he was? Barging right into a crazy African warlord's camp like a naïve _idiot_? The trip back to the house sure seemed long and arduous now that he had so much trouble simply walking. He was hunched over, hobbling, and kept stopping to rest, but he couldn't even sit because of the rolled-up book inside of him, so he would just squat awkwardly on the ground. Several times, he tried to remove the book from his anus but he had too much trouble reaching it. He tried a few times to push and expel the rolled-up book naturally with his bowel muscles, but it was just no use.

The shock and denial gripped him so strongly that he hadn't even realized he'd been crying. As he "sat" down on his knees, squatting uncomfortably on the ground, tears came gushing out of the boy's once-hopeful sparkling brown eyes. He whimpered and made various unidentifiable sounds from the throbbing pain inside of him. No matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't stop the flood of tears from escaping his eyes, dripping unceremoniously down his chin. His shirt was covered with splotches of blood from getting hit several times by the General and his men. _Pathetic_ , Price thought to himself. _You're disgusting and pathetic._

When he finally had the strength to stand up, he shakily resumed his reluctant hobble back toward the house. He kept reminding himself that, once there, he would at least feel safer and could get some much-needed rest. He sighed and tried to focus on the positive – he had the other Elders who would care for him and a warm bed to sleep in. Soon, however, the mad rush of tears started rolling down his cheeks again as he thought about having to ask one of the other Elders to assist him with removing the rolled-up book. _No, no, no._ He scolded himself. _This can't be happening… I can't possibly ask them to do…that. No!_

A guttural scream involuntarily released from his throat. He was nearly home, but the gravity of the situation finally broke him as he imagined one of the Elders having to remove the book. He collapsed to the ground with a thud, sobbing uncontrollably, his voice retching loudly and his body shaking in violent trembles. He felt like a ghost, a shell of the man he once was – all semblance of pride and faith, the two qualities that most defined him, vanished, _gone_ , the moment he was assaulted in the most humiliating and private way possible.

Sobbing, Elder Price no longer had the strength or will to try and move so he just laid there in pain. He stayed there on the ground for what seemed like hours, his face bright red from tears and his eyes swollen from both the continuous stress of crying, as well as the punches he endured earlier from the General. _I could die right here, right now…and I don't know if anyone would even really miss me_ , thought Price before finally succumbing to sleep.

 

* * *

 

Elder Cunningham was pacing back and forth in the living room of their small mission home, rambling on frantically as Elder McKinley tried to calm him down.

"Do you think I was too hard on him? What if he ran away again? I mean, he could be hurt. Where could he have even gone? He's been out for eight hours…it's past nine pm!" Cunningham started to breathe in and out heavily as though he was having a panic attack. "I MEAN, COME ON, THERE'S NOTHING TO EVEN DO HERE!" He started pulling at his hair and pacing. "What if he's been shot at or raped or…or…eaten by LIONS?"

McKinley nodded and patted Arnold on the back. "Calm down, Elder. I'm sure he'll be back soon. Come on, shhh. This isn't the first time he's run off. He sure is a rule-breaker, that one." Connor shook his head in secret admiration of Kevin. "You're just feeling guilty for not forgiving him earlier, that's all. He'll get over it, you both will."

Elder Cunningham shook his head fervently. "No, no, this time is different. I just…I just have a bad feeling right—right heeeeere." He squealed as he pointed to his heart and scrunched his face. "Something is wrong this time; I just know it. After all, I'm still his—I—I'm still his best f—friend." Arnold's mouth started quivering and he let out a sob.

Elder McKinley leaned in and put his arm around Arnold. "Come here, sit down with me. It'll be okay."

Connor led Arnold over to the couch and let the sad boy lean his head against his shoulder.

"If Elder Price isn't back by ten, we'll go out and look for him, okay? Let's give him another hour." McKinley assured in what he hoped was a soothing tone.

Elder Cunningham nodded, his voice trembling. "O—k-kay."

 

* * *

 

Nabulungi was walking around at night, something she was _not_ supposed to be doing. After all, the General's men were everywhere, antagonizing and mutilating women. She had been out visiting some of the other villagers, trying to convince them to be baptized into the Mormon Church. She was walking back to her home when she heard a strange muffled voice coming from over by the bushes.

She felt her pocket – good, her knife was still there. "Who is it?" She yelled. "I have a knife! I am not afraid of you!"

More muffled cries were coming from the bushes, but it didn't sound like one of the General's men. It sounded like…crying? The General's men did not cry.

Nabulungi cautiously followed the sounds, knife at the ready, and was instantly taken aback when she found the crumpled figure of Elder Price on the ground behind the bushes, hunched in the fetal position with blood all over his shirt.

"Elder Price!" She screamed, worriedly, and knelt down next to him. She brushed back his hair so she could see his face, but instead he flinched and pushed her away from him.

"No! Go away! Don't touch me!" He screamed violently, trying unsuccessfully to stand up.

"Elder Price, it's me!" Nabulungi assured loudly, but in a soothing voice. "Nabulungi!" She reached over and brushed the hair out of his eyes and wiped away his tears so he could see her face. "I'm going to get you to the doctor, you are hurt. What happened? Did you get shot?"

Elder Price was still sobbing and jumpy, but allowed her to help him stand up. "Owww!" He screamed and fell back onto his knees. "I…can't. I can't." He resigned to saying. "I can't stand up."

"You are hurt, you need help!" Nabulungi yelled, worry and fear evident in her voice. "Poor thing. You are hurting. We need to get you to the doctor right now."

Elder Price managed to compose himself long enough to answer her desperate cries. "I'm okay…I'm okay." _No, you're really not_ , he thought to himself. "I didn't get shot, I'm not bleeding…I don't think. Well, maybe I am." _Down there_ , he thought. "I don't know. But I didn't get shot, I'm…okay."

Nabulungi shook her head as a tear fell down her face. "What happened to you, Elder Price? Why are you covered in blood? Why can't you stand up? Was it the General? Did he hurt you?"

Too many questions and Elder Price couldn't think straight. He sighed in defeat. "I'm…I tried…I have…" He tried to tell her what happened, but instead he burst into another crying fit. "I was just trying to—"

Nabulungi was now kneeling beside him and held him as much as he would allow her to. "It will be okay, Elder Price. I will go get the other Mormons. They can help you. They will know what to do for…this."

Kevin allowed himself to lean into Nabulungi's warm embrace and rested his head on her shoulder.

"I—I have a…" Elder Price started, but broke up from tears. "The General, he—he—"

Nabulungi perked up and looked into Price's eyes. "It _was_ the General…he's the one who hurt you?"

Elder Price bit his lip and nodded meekly. "Yes, he—he hurt me. It hurts."

He looked down at the ground now. He just couldn't bear to look her in the eyes and tell her what really happened. He never wanted her to know what happened. Feeling utterly humiliated, he looked back up into her eyes and resigned to admitting he needed help from the other Elders.

"I will go get the Mormons. They will know what to do." Nabulungi said while embracing him a final time. "Here, use this if anyone gives you trouble while I am gone." She handed him her knife. "I will run quickly; you will be safe soon." She said reassuringly and then dashed off toward the house.

 

* * *

 

It was now after ten pm and Elder McKinley was growing more nervous by the minute. "Alright, Elder. I think you're right. We need to go out and look for him." He said to Cunningham quietly. "Okay, everyone, gather round. Come, come." He called out confidently to the group of concerned Elders.

McKinley cleared his throat. "We're going to go out and look for Elder Price. I want us all to stay together as a group so no one else gets hurt or lost, understood? I know we may cover less ground this way, but at least we'll be safer. Let's all hold hands and stay in a line. I'll lead. Elder Cunningham, take my ha— ", he was cut off by a loud banging and screaming at the door.

Cunningham shouted. "It's Kevin!" and ran for the door. He swung it open and, to his surprise, Nabulungi was standing there, sheer terror on her face and she also appeared to be out of breath.

"Come quickly! Elder Price…he's hurt! He's badly hurt and he needs you!" She yelled loudly.

McKinley ran to Nabulungi, his face clearly panicked. "He's hurt? You saw him? You know where he is?" He asked worriedly.

Nabulungi nodded fervently and Connor looked even more concerned. He turned back to the group. "Okay, Elders, you all stay put right here. I'll go with Nabulungi to retrieve Elder Price."

Cunningham started out the door. "I'm coming too, I'm his companion!"

"It's dangerous here at night, Elder. We'll bring him back safe and sound, don't worry." Connor assured him. "I don't want anyone else getting hurt."

"No, I'm coming!" Arnold insisted. "He has to know I still want to be his best friend!"

Connor sighed. "Fine, but hold my hand." He looked at Nabulungi. "You too."


	2. Chapter 2

McKinley and Cunningham were struggling to keep up with Nabulungi's furious pace as they sprinted towards the location of the wounded Kevin Price. Arnold was somewhat overweight and was definitely not in good enough shape to be running that quickly, but he just kept reminding himself that his best friend was in trouble and needed him to come as fast as possible. _Man up, dude._ Arnold reminded himself for encouragement. _You got this!_

After another ten minutes of running, Nabulungi finally yelled, "Come quickly! He's right over here!"

Nabulungi's unrelenting dash abruptly came to a halt when they reached a large patch of bushes. Arnold silently praised Heavenly Father for allowing him a minute to finally catch his breath. He had lost his breath entirely on the way over here. The moment they lessened the pace, he immediately bent over in exasperation and took in a few large gasps of air. When he raised his head, he was startled by what he saw in front of him. He watched as Nabulungi and Connor leaned over a crumpled, bloody figure of Elder Price.

"KEVIN!" He yelled and darted toward his friend's broken figure on the ground. He made his way to Kevin's side and instantly tried to assess the damage. _Blood on his shirt...not good. Laying on the ground…not good._ _And is he crying? He's crying_. Nabulungi and Connor were seated beside Kevin, attempting to calm him down and help him sit up. From the looks of it, Kevin was having a hard time sitting up straight and kept saying "No!" to his friends' attempts at helping him.

"I'm here, Kevin!" Arnold cried out as he lunged toward the ground next to Price, accidentally pushing Connor and Nabulungi out of the way in his typical rough, clumsy manner. Kevin turned his head slightly to face him and looked into Arnold's worried eyes, silently wishing that none of the Elders were actually seeing him like _this_ …in this condition. Arnold bent down over Kevin's face and cupped his friend's wet cheek with his hand. Kevin jumped slightly at the gesture and Arnold slowly took his hand off the boy's cheek.

"Hey there, b—buddy. It's me, Arnold. Everything's gonna be okay, dude." Arnold tried to comfort him in a soft voice, but it came out more like a loud nervous stutter. "I'm _so_ happy you're not dead! I mean—well, you know what I mean…" He smiled dopily down at Kevin.

If these were different circumstances and his body hadn't just been used and humiliated for a sick man's pleasure, Kevin would have chuckled at the hilarity and inappropriateness of Arnold's comment. A small tug of a smile began to grace Kevin's lips, but it came and went so quickly that neither of them were sure it had actually been there.

Arnold looked into Kevin's eyes for a moment longer and reached down to touch his cheek again. This time, Kevin only flinched slightly and Arnold left his hand on his cheek, wiping away a lone tear. "What—what on Earth happened to you, man? Are you okay?"

Connor quickly wiped a rogue tear from his own eye and gently moved Arnold out of the way so he could get Price to a standing position. "Not now, Elder Cunningham. We have to get him back to the house, then we can talk about everything and try to figure out what's going on. It's too dangerous out here at night. Whoever did this to Elder Price could be coming back any minute and we don't want to be here when he does."

Connor turned back to Kevin and slid his arm underneath the boy's shoulders as delicately as possible and gripped his hand around his back to try and lift him up. However, Kevin jolted violently at the touch and pushed his friend away as though he thought Connor was going to hurt him.

Stunned at this behavior, McKinley immediately removed his arm from underneath Kevin. Nabulungi and Arnold exchanged a worried glance.

 _He thinks I'm going to hurt him_ , Connor thought to himself in near disbelief. Connor regained his composure and spoke in what he hoped was a soothing voice. "Elder Price, it's only me, Elder McKinley. I'm your friend. I'm not going to hurt you. I just need to get you up so we can bring you home. Okay?"

The shear terror on Kevin's face made Connor's heart skip a beat. He tried his best to assure Kevin that he would never hurt him. Finally, Elder Price reluctantly nodded and allowed Connor to wrap his arm around him and lift him up.

"Does it hurt?" Connor asked him quietly as he attempted to raise the battered boy up from the ground as though he was an invalid. "Please know I'm not trying to cause you any pain."

Elder Price cringed as he was lifted upward, then nodded slowly as he looked down at the ground. "I know. I'm sorry, Elder." Inside, Kevin felt terrible for even thinking that about Elder McKinley...of course the other Elders would never hurt him. Especially not in the way the General hurt him. _No, not like that. Never._ Price told himself.

"It hurts a little." Kevin mumbled sheepishly. _It hurts a lot_ , he thought. A sharp pain was now shooting up from the inside of his anus all the way into his stomach, or so it seemed. His face flushed red with embarrassment before reminding himself that at least his friends don't yet know _where_ it hurts or _why_.

Kevin sounded so quiet, almost meek. Arnold stared at Kevin for a moment in silent surprise. He had never heard such a defeated tone come from his usually charismatic, and somewhat over-confident, companion. Now he knew something was really wrong with Kevin. He had been hoping that maybe Kev just got into a fight with a villager while he was out trying to spread the Word or got knocked around by some jerk on his way home. No, that wouldn't make Kevin act _this_ sheepish. Arnold's stomach turned. _Something awful happened_ , Arnold thought silently as his nervous stomach began doing flip-flops.

Connor gently rubbed Kevin's back as he helped him stand up fully. "It'll be okay, Elder. We'll be home soon. Then we can talk." They started off slowly with Connor's arm around Kevin's waist. Kevin was stumbling a little, using Connor as a crutch to allow himself to walk back. Arnold reached over and held onto Kevin's other half to help him keep his balance and they walked like that all the way to the house.

 

* * *

 

Nabulungi followed them to the house to make sure they got home safe and sound. After they went inside, Arnold and Connor carefully laid Kevin down on the couch and brought him a glass of water. Price winced in pain as soon as his bottom touched the couch, but was trying not to show the true pain he was in. He rolled over onto his side so the couch wasn't pressing it in further. The book had to come out soon, Kevin could feel it aggravating his inner skin. He could have been cut inside, bleeding.

Nabulungi leaned over Kevin and pressed her delicate hand to his cheek. "Feel better, Elder Price. Please don't wander off like that again, it's not safe for boys like you."

Kevin forced a smile. "I'll try not to."

She smiled warmly down at Kevin and leaned over to give him a small kiss on the cheek. "Rest well, Elder Price. I will see you tomorrow."

Kevin nodded and forced a smile. "I will, thanks. And thanks for helping me. Sorry about all this…mess."

Nabulungi waved her hand and started for the door. "It was no trouble, Elder Price. Your friends will take good care of you. Goodnight, boys. See you tomorrow."

After Nabulungi left, Elder McKinley ushered the other Elders into their rooms and told them to get some sleep and that they would be able to say hello to Kevin in the morning. After all, it was already past midnight.

Connor then found the house's only First Aid Kit and took a seat across from Kevin in order to treat any wounds he may have suffered. Arnold sat by Kevin's feet and placed a cautious hand over the boy's knee. He desperately wanted to hold his companion and tell him that everything was going to be alright, but he controlled his urges.

"Elder Price, what in Heavenly Father's name happened to you tonight?" Connor asked as he sat down and opened the medical kit.

Elder Price's face looked like a deer caught in the headlights. "I—I don't really want to talk about it, Elder…but, I guess if I have to…" Kevin clenched his fists and paused to prepare his next words. _This is it_ , he told himself. _You can do it. These are your friends. They won't blame you._

Thinking it and doing it were two totally different things. Kevin's face turned beet red and his eyes darted away from the other's Elders gazes. "I'm sorry, guys. This is just…really hard for me."

Connor and Arnold exchanged concerned glances. Connor swallowed hard and tried to soothe him. "I know it's hard, Elder Pr—Kevin. Just take your time. We're not going anywhere." He cleared his throat. "Where did you go after you left here this morning? You said something about 'taking care of everything'. Where did you go?"

 _You're okay, this is the easy part._ "I went over to the General's camp like a naive fool. You said you couldn't get any Baptisms until he was taken care of, so I went to…take care of it." Kevin stated meekly. Soon after he said this, he suddenly felt as though he was hyperventilating and began gasping for breaths. "I'm so stupid!" He started hitting himself in the head with his hands. "STUPID, STUPID, STUPID!"

Connor's eyes widened in shock before firmly grabbing Kevin's hands so the boy would stop repeatedly hitting himself. "Elder Price! Stop that right now! Stop it!" Arnold got up to try and help, but Connor gave him a look that told him to back off.

Kevin wrestled with Connor's grasp and cried out. "I'm so stupid! I let this happen! I let him do this to me! I let him touch me! I didn't even fight back!" Tears were pouring down his face. "It's all my—my fault. I'm stupid and it's all my fault."

Several minutes later and after much coaxing by the two Elders, Kevin managed to calm down enough to talk again. Arnold reached over and gently took one of Kevin's hands into his own.

"What did that bastard do to you, Kev? Because I'll kill him. I swear on Heavenly Father's name, I will." He was going to get to the bottom of this. Someone was going to have Hell to pay from Arnold Cunningham.

Connor shook his head. "Arnold…" He cautioned. "Not now."

Kevin allowed his lips to curl up into a small smile. He sniffled and looked into Connor's worried eyes, then back at Arnold, who looked like he was about to have an aneurysm if he didn't get an answer soon. He was scaring the only friends he had.

Kevin bit his lip and apologized. "I'm so sorry, guys…I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm not…handling this like a man at _all_."

Connor took Kevin's other hand into his and squeezed it reassuringly. "That's not true. Don't worry, everything's going to be fine. You're doing great. Do you think you can tell us what happened to you after you went to see the General? We just care about you and want you to be okay. You may need medical treatment so we need to know what happened."

"He—he—" Kevin choked on his words. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "I went over there to try and convince the General to change his mind. I thought maybe, just maybe, if he heard our story and we could get him to listen to the scripture, then maybe he might stop trying to control the Villagers and maybe he would stop hurting everyone. Then, the Village would be free to join the Church. If they joined the Church, then we would be a success and the people of the Village would finally be happy. I thought that when the Mission President came, he would congratulate all of us, especially me, for having accomplished the impossible!" Tears welled up inside of Kevin's brilliant brown orbs. "I just wanted to do something in—in—incredible. That's all. I thought this would be my last chance to do that."

He looked down in embarrassment at his admittance and waited for a harsh reprimand. But, it never came.

Elder McKinley's face fell at Elder Price's words. "Oh, Kevin…no. No…" He spoke in a soft voice and shook his head. "This wasn't on you to fix. One person can't fix this. The situation here…it's not your fault. It's not anyone's fault. All we can do is try. And I appreciate you trying, I really do, but you could have gotten _killed_. The General is crazy; he kills people for no reason. Baptisms, placements, the Mission President, the Village…even the Church…none of these things are worth your life, Kevin. Not one of them is worth sacrificing that."

Connor looked down for a moment at Kevin's bloodied shirt and torn pants, then looked back into Kevin's eyes. "I'm partly to blame for this. I pressured all of you by being afraid of what the Mission President would say when he came and saw how much I failed as your district leader. I thought he would send me back home in disgrace when he found out we didn't have any baptisms." Connor looked down sadly. "You know something…I don't really want to go back home any time soon. I mean, not that this place is great or anything, it's terrible actually…but I still feel less…controlled here at least." He looked back up and met Kevin's eyes. "None of this is your fault, Kevin."

"I didn't want the Mission President to come here and be disappointed in all of us. This is still an issue and I'm not sure how to fix it before he comes." Kevin replied.

Arnold patted his knee. "We'll fix it, brother. We can do it together…assuming you'll take me back."

Kevin smiled knowingly at Arnold. "Of course I will, Elder."

Arnold grinned sheepishly. "Just call me Arnold already, ya sillypants."

Connor was being patient, but he still didn't know what exactly happened to him. "Okay, now we know where you went and why you went. But, we still don't understand what he _did_ to you. You're clearly very badly hurt, you're covered in blood and you can't stand up on your own. Did he hit you? Beat you? Did he…" Connor paused and lowered his voice to a near whisper. "Did he…rape you? You can tell us, Kevin. This is a safe place and we care about you." Connor assured him.

Elder Price didn't think Connor would guess it before he even had a chance to tell them. He blinked a couple of times in disbelief and decided he had to tell them now. The book was continuing to cause him insurmountable pain and he would soon be needing help to remove it.

Kevin took in a shaky breath and nodded slowly. "I was kind of…r-r-raped? I guess? Sort of."

Arnold stood up and covered his mouth in shock and horror at the revelation. "NO!" He cried. "My best friend!" He squealed.

"Shhhhh." McKinley stood up and put an arm around Arnold, bringing the boy down so he was now seated next to Connor. Arnold rested his head on Connor's shoulder. Connor swallowed hard before continuing. "What do you mean by 'kind of'?"

Elder Price suddenly felt empty and broken. Any remaining sense of dignity he had left was about to come crashing down once his friends knew the truth.

Kevin sniffled and blushed. "After I was done with my speech about the Book of Mormon, the General and two of his men dragged me off into a filthy mud hut. They took off all my clothes and forced me to…" Tears fell freely down Price's face. "I can't…" He began sobbing uncontrollably.

Arnold leaned over and put his arms around Kevin. "You can do it, buddy. It's just us. We love you." Arnold was barely containing his rage at the bastards who did this, but he knew he needed to be strong for Kevin.

Kevin nodded. "Thanks, pal." He forced a smile through his sobs and continued. "The one guard took his pants off and forced his…private part…thing…into my… _mouth_." He broke down for a few more moments and tried to compose himself.

Elder McKinley's shocked face was covered in fresh tears, but he was trying not to show it. "You're doing great, Kevin. Almost done. You're so brave." Connor squeezed Kevin's hand for assurance. "You're almost there."

Through sobs, Kevin continued. "After… that…I thought that was going to be it. It was h—h—horrible. I've never had any kind of sex, let alone with a _man._ That's just disgusting."

McKinley felt slightly stung at Kevin's words, because of his own issues with his sexuality and his attraction to Kevin in particular, but he tried not to show it. Kevin was hurting terribly and this wasn't the time to think about himself.

"I thought for sure I was in another Hell dream, but then I didn't wake up!" Kevin whimpered. "Then, the General and his men took turns punching me everywhere...in the face, the stomach, everywhere. That's where most of the blood came from. I'm all sore and bruised. They scratched me and hit me with things... I don't even know what."

McKinley nodded. "It'll be alright. We have the First Aid Kit...we'll clean out all of your cuts and bruises, then we'll bandage you up. We even have ice packs." He gave Kevin a soft reassuring smile. "You'll be good as new."

Connor and Arnold's warmth towards him was making this a lot easier, thought Kevin. "It didn't end there, though...", Kevin continued in a small voice. He took in a deep breath. "After they were done hitting me, the General took my book from me and started ripping most of the pages out. Then he rolled up what was left of it and—he—" Kevin stopped talking, in fear of what might happen if he told them. _Just do it,_ Kevin told himself _. You're almost done._

Arnold lifted his arms off of Kevin when the pause went on for too long. "Kev?"

Kevin looked down, ashamed. "He bent me over his knees and tried to shove the rolled up book into…here." He pointed to his bottom. "When he tried, he said my hole was too t—t—tight. So he took out this disgusting oil stuff and rubbed it inside my bottom…he put his nasty finger in me…then he pushed the book all the way…inside of me. It hurt s—s—so much…the pain was just…awful." His hands were shaking; he couldn't control the trembles that were overtaking him. "I feel dirty and used and…tainted. And the worst part is, it's still inside of me…in _there_. I couldn't get it out. I didn't want to tell you, I'm sorry. I didn't want—I didn't want to tell you…I'm so sorry…"

Connor was stunned. It took him a minute to have anything intelligible to say to make this any better. All he could say was, "We're gonna help you, Kevin." Connor was quietly crying by this point and was trying to calm down so that he would be fit to help Kevin.

Arnold got up and started flailing his arms and pacing. "YOU HAD A _BOOK_ IN YOUR ASS THIS _ENTIRE_ TIME? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?"

Connor got up and smacked Arnold hard in the arm. "What is WRONG with YOU?"

Arnold realized now how his words came out and started to whimper. "No, no…that's not what I meant! I meant that, this whole time we've been sitting here…all day…he's been in horrible pain. He has a book…IN _THERE_. We need to get it out, NOW!"

Connor let out a breath he didn't realize he had been holding. "I'm sorry, Elder Cunningham. You're right. Let's all just calm down and focus on helping Kevin."

Arnold looked toward Kevin, tears rolling down his chubby cheeks. "Kevin, I—it's just the way I say things sometimes…" He moved to Kevin's side. "Buddy, I didn't mean anything bad about you. You know that, right? None of this is your fault. You're my best friend and I'd do anything for you." He leaned in and hugged Kevin fiercely. "Even when we weren't talking for a little while and you pushed me away, I still would've been there for you if you needed me."

Kevin buried his head into Arnold's neck and returned the embrace. "I know you didn't mean anything bad. We're okay."

Elder McKinley gulped down a glass of water and wiped his eyes. He reached down and placed a shaky hand on Kevin's shoulder. "Do you want me to take you to the village doctor or would you rather we take…care of it?"

Elder Price's face flushed. "Whatever you guys want." He paused for a moment. "I don't really trust that doctor...but—but I don't want _you_ guys to have to do...that. It's...no, that's just too much to ask of anyone." Kevin's face was wet from tears again. "That's just too awful to ask of someone."

Elder McKinley placed a shaky hand on Kevin's shoulder, squeezed it, and gave him a sympathetic half-smile. "We're going to help you, Kevin. This will all be over soon, I promise."


	3. Chapter 3

"Thanks, guys." Kevin replied shyly to his friends' promise that they would help him remove the book. The truth was that Connor's words both terrified and comforted him.

Connor took in a deep breath. "Okay, so why don't you take your shirt off first and then I'll have a quick look at your wounds." He forced a small smile at Kevin to try and make him feel a little better. "We'll want to bandage you up last though after you've showered and you're all cleaned up, but I'd like to take a look so we know what we're dealing with."

Kevin slowly and reluctantly obliged. He shakily unbuttoned his battered, blood-stained dress shirt and Connor helped him gently slip it off. Connor always tried amazingly hard to repress his homosexual feelings, but he had to admit to himself that there had been times when he wondered what Kevin Price looked like without any clothes on. One thing was for certain – he definitely did not want to finally find out under _these_ circumstances.

Kevin's body was perfect, just as Connor imagined it would be. Kevin was two years his junior and had a very light blonde layer of body hair. His skin tone was a shade of ivory with a tad bit of tan, matching the complexion of his face. He had strong, defined muscles, but not overly bulky. He was… _perfect_ , thought Connor. _No, these thoughts are wrong. You have to stop!_ McKinley tried so hard to turn it off whenever he had sexual thoughts about another man. But, it was impossibly hard.

Tattered along the boy's perfect skin were purple bruises, cuts, and scratch marks where the General and his men had abused him. Connor absent-mindedly ran a lone finger along a very large black and blue splotch on his chest. Kevin flinched at the unexpected touch which forced Connor to snap out of his reverie.

"Sorry, I was just…checking your wounds." Connor lied. He was really wondering how a person could do something like this to someone as innocent and well-meaning as Kevin. The boy always had good intentions, even if he was somewhat self-absorbed at times.

Arnold came back from the kitchen with a few Advils and a glass of water for Kevin. "This should help!" He smiled at Kevin warmly as he went to give him the pills. "Oh!" Arnold was taken aback at the sight of all the cuts and bruises on Kevin's exposed upper body.

Connor nodded toward Arnold as a thank you for thinking of the pain killers. Normally, this would have been Connor's first idea as well but his head was swimming in a constant stream of thought about Kevin's battered state and the unpleasant task that lay ahead of them.

Arnold's heart nearly broke in half when he saw Kevin's body—cut, bruised, and bloody from the men's brutality. "Oh, Kev." He murmured softly as he took a seat near Kevin's feet. He didn't know what else to say, but his heart sank when he saw all of those wounds. He wanted to wrap his arms around Kevin and never let him go. The fact that these wounds weren't even the worst part of the ordeal was what really affected Arnold the most. _The book…_

Kevin sat up a little bit to be able to swallow the pills and Connor noticed him cringing in pain as he did so. He put a steady arm behind Kevin's shoulders to help him sit up.

"Thanks, guys." Kevin whispered and laid back down. He closed his eyes for a few moments and, when he opened them, saw the look of complete and pure dread on his friends' faces. He knew what had to come next.

"I…I really don't want to do this." Kevin stammered, his eyes welling up with fresh tears. He had finally stopped crying.

Connor choked on his words. "I know, I know." He reached over with a shaky hand to wipe the stray tears off of Kevin's cheek.

"I'm scared." Kevin admitted softly. "I'm afraid it might be so…disgusting…that you won't want to be friends with me after." He shook his head. "I know how stupid I must sound; I don't know what's wrong with me."

Connor shook his head. "Nothing is wrong with you. And that isn't going to happen."

Arnold nodded in agreement. "Yeah, dude, don't worry about us, it's _you_ we're worried about. You're the one with the…thing…in your…you know." Arnold blushed and looked down. "We just wanna help you, Kev."

Kevin nodded shyly and asked. "So, how do we…do this?"

Connor looked pensive for a moment and then rubbed Kevin's shoulder for comfort. "We'll need you to take off your—" He hesitated for a second before continuing, "…pants…for obvious reasons. Then we'll try our best to remove the book for you. If we do get it out, I'll have to make sure you aren't still bleeding…in there…and we'll wash the wounds and put healing lotion on you. If we end up not being able to remove it, we may need to take you to the doctor. I don't want to risk hurting you further by doing this, Kevin. But we'll try first. Even if we do get it out tonight, the doctor should have a look at you tomorrow."

Kevin nodded glumly. "Okay."

Arnold's stomach was flip flopping all over the place and Connor looked as though he had been through Hell and back. The fear and trepidation in the room was stifling. Connor knew it was up to him to initiate the unpleasant task. "Okay, why don't we go into the bathroom to do this. That way you can shower and get cleaned up right after."

Kevin nodded and the two boys helped him stand up and brought him over to the bathroom.

Once they were in the bathroom, Connor held Kevin up while he let Kevin undo his own belt buckle. The fear he saw in the boy's eyes was tearing him apart. Connor just hoped that _he_ wasn't the reason for Kevin's uneasiness. Kevin was still very jumpy toward any kind of touch and Connor knew Kevin was aware of his homosexuality. Connor turned his head away to give Kevin some semblance of privacy while he was removing his pants. He wrapped a towel around Kevin's front after his underwear was down to cover his privates, leaving just his backside visible.

Tears began to pour silently out of Arnold's eyes the moment Kevin's underwear was off and the two Elders could see the amount of blood that had obviously gushed out of their friend. The fact that Kevin had been in this condition for hours was highly unsettling. Connor's heart nearly stopped when he looked down and saw the boy's bottom, covered in purple welts and dried blood caked onto his cheeks.

The good news was, it didn't look as though Kevin was still bleeding and Connor could see that the book's edge was definitely visible and was poking out of Kevin's opening. This made him feel a little bit better – they most likely would be able to remove it safely without having to call the doctor tonight.

Kevin burst into tears the minute he saw the expressions on Arnold and Connor's faces. "Oh, god…it's bad, isn't it?" He clutched onto Arnold and Connor for support. He could see tears running down Arnold's face at the sight of his rear-end.

"No, buddy, it's fine. It's gonna be fine." Arnold somehow managed to say through his gasps and tears.

Connor gently moved Kevin's body so that the boy's hands could clutch onto Arnold's shoulders and his knees were on the floor. "I'm going to move you like this just so I can get the book out. Just stay like this and it'll be over in a minute." Connor realized how very traumatic this all must have been for Kevin. Before going to work on removing the book, he reached over and placed a gentle hand on his back. "Are you okay so far?"

Kevin's tear-stained face was now buried deep into Arnold's neck and though he was still sniffling and gasping for air, he seemed to be as okay as he could have been under the circumstances. "Yeah, I think I'm okay."

Arnold wrapped his arms around Kevin and rubbed his back. "You're doing so good, Kev." He whispered into his ear. "You're the bravest guy I ever met."

Connor heard Arnold's whisper and smiled inwardly at the comment. "Okay, Kevin, I'm going to start now. If it hurts any more than it already does as I'm doing it, just call out to me and I'll stop, okay?"

Kevin nodded and Connor reached in and grabbed onto the little part of the book that was sticking out of his opening. He got a hold of it and began sliding it out of Kevin. Each time an inch came out, Connor checked in with Kevin to see if he was still alright. Finally, the book was fully removed and Kevin let out a giant sigh of relief.

Connor let out a sigh of relief as well. "Oh my gosh, it's out! How do you feel, Kevin?" Connor asked, immediately wrapping the towel around the rest of Kevin's body so he was fully covered.

Kevin tried to stand up and found it wasn't quite as difficult as it was earlier. His insides still burned, but the obstruction that was causing the sharp pain was gone. He let go of his clutch on Arnold and leaned back into Connor, who steadied him. "I think I'm okay!" Kevin exclaimed. Looking over at his two friends, he smiled genuinely for the first time all day.

"I am so sorry for all of this…" He stammered. "Thank you. I don't know what else to say. Thank you so much." Kevin spoke sincerely and with an apologetic tone.

"You have nothing to be sorry for, Kev." Arnold replied soothingly.

Connor sighed again. He couldn't believe the worst was finally over. "Alright, Kevin, you should shower now and get all cleaned up. Do you think you can shower on your own or do you want us to stay with you?"

Kevin thought about it for a moment. "Can I shower with the curtain closed but one of you can stay in the room with me?"

Connor nodded. "Arnold, why don't you stay in here and keep Kevin company while I go see what we have in the First Aid Kit."

Arnold grinned. "You bet!"

With Arnold's help, Kevin was able to get into the shower. He kept the towel around his waist until he was fully in the shower and the curtain was closed. Then he turned on the water and allowed it to cleanse all of the terrible things that happened to him that day. The warm water pulsating down over his body felt absolutely amazing. He took the soap and rubbed it all over his bruised skin, savoring every moment of it. It stung his cuts, of course, especially on his bottom, but he didn't care. He just wanted all of the filth from the General's abuse to be washed away.

He watched as all the blood and dirt poured off of his body and swirled down the drain. He still felt broken and humiliated, but he had to admit that Connor and Arnold being so kind made it so much easier to deal with than it could have been.

 _They really do care about me_ , Kevin thought to himself, allowing a sad smile to cross his lips. He squeezed a large amount of minty shampoo into his hair and frothed it into a thick lather. It felt so wonderful to finally be clean and feel somewhat normal again.

"You doin' okay, bud?" Arnold called from outside the curtain.

"Yeah, I'll be out soon." Kevin replied. The truth was he could have stayed in the shower all night long. It felt amazing to wash the grimy fingerprints of the General off of his skin.

About ten minutes later, Kevin wrapped the towel back around himself and slowly stepped out of the shower. He still had some trouble walking, so Arnold helped him out and brought him into their bedroom.

"Feel any better, bud?" Arnold prodded as they sat down on their beds.

"Yeah, I feel a lot better, thanks." He then realized he was still in his towel. "Um, would you mind turning around while I change?"

Arnold blushed. "Sure, yeah, of course." He turned around and waited for Kevin to finish getting his underwear and pajamas on.

Kevin let out a shaky sigh after Arnold turned back around and they faced each other. "I can't believe this _actually_ happened to me…this has got to be the worst day of my entire life." Kevin lamented, burying his face in his hands.

Arnold went over and sat next to Kevin, wrapping his arm around him and giving him a squeeze. "I know. But it's going to get better. We're going to figure this out together. At least the worst of it is behind you now. You'll get a good night's sleep tonight."

Kevin glanced at the clock. "It's past three in the morning! We're supposed to get up at six-thirty…"

Arnold shook his head. "Whatever, so you'll sleep in tomorrow. Like you said…to heck with rules!" He joked.

Kevin sighed. "I don't know _how_ I'm even going to fall asleep tonight…I mean, after all of this. I don't think I can."

Suddenly, Arnold seemed to remember something very important and quickly ran over to his dresser. After digging around for minute or two, he finally pulled out what looked like an old ratty teddy bear in a wrinkled Mormon Missionary outfit.

"Here!" Arnold exclaimed happily and sat back down next to Kevin. "You can sleep with Little Arnie tonight, if you want. My mom made him for me when I was little. See, look, he has a little name tag that says Elder Cunningham. This little guy always made me feel so much better when I was scared or sad. When I was little, I never went to bed without him." Realizing how silly he sounded, he tried to fix it. "I mean, I know this is silly…you don't have to—"

Normally, Kevin would have made some haughty comment about them being too old for childish teddy bears now that they were men, but not today. Definitely not today.

Kevin beamed at Arnold's gesture and happily took the bear into his arms.

"This means a lot to me, Arnold. Thank you." He said as he gave Arnold a hug first, then snuggled the bear close to his chest.

A few minutes later, Connor knocked softly on the boys' door. "Kevin?" He called. "Arnold?"

"We're in here!" Arnold called. "Come in!"

Connor opened the door a crack and found Kevin and Arnold chatting quietly on Kevin's bed with an old looking teddy bear. The sight of the two boys made his lips curl up into a tired smile.

"Hi Elders, sorry to bother you guys. Kevin, I just wanted to put some healing balm and Band-Aids on your cuts before you go to sleep." Connor said as he walked toward the beds. "I brought you both a glass of water and a couple of cookies too." He said as he handed the confections and waters to Kevin and Arnold.

Kevin and Arnold beamed. "Thanks!" They spoke in unison.

Connor was so happy that Kevin seemed to be feeling a little bit better now. By the time he finished cleaning up Kevin's cuts and applying the balm, it was nearly four in the morning.

"Alright, get some sleep, you guys. I don't want to see you up until at least noon." Connor chided softly as he gently tucked Kevin and the bear in underneath his blanket. "Sleep well, Kevin. Let's talk some more tomorrow, okay?"

Kevin nodded and smiled up at Connor. "Thank you so much, Elder McKinley." Then he looked over at Arnold. "Thank you, both. For everything."

Connor felt fresh tears beginning to form behind his eyes. "See you tomorrow. Goodnight, Kevin. Goodnight, Arnold. Sweet dreams." Connor said softly as he turned out the light and closed their bedroom door behind him.


	4. Chapter 4

About half an hour after Elder McKinley closed the door and left the two boys alone to sleep for the night, Elder Price sat up in his bed and took a large gulp of the water Connor had left for him. His throat was parched, his body was still sore, and he just couldn't seem to fall asleep. He laid his head back down against his pillow and clutched onto the little bear Arnold had given him. So many thoughts were running through his mind. Despite feeling light-years better now that the book was out of him and his body was on the mend, everything still felt achy and he needed to sleep on his side or else it hurt too much. He was still wildly upset that Connor and Arnold had to see him in that pitiful condition and, worse, that they had to _help_ him in the way that they did.

Kevin shook his head. Every time he closed his eyes to try and fall asleep, he saw either the General's angry face looking down at him, holding his pants and the Book of Mormon, ready to assault him, or he saw Elder McKinley's crestfallen face, torn apart by the sight of his young, new recruit having been beaten and sexually abused on the first week of his mission. Kevin wasn't clueless—he knew all of this had affected Connor and Arnold. They tried so hard to hide it, but Kevin knew they had cried several times earlier.

Then there was the issue of his faith. After everything that happened over the past few days, he just wasn't sure _what_ to believe in anymore. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints was all Kevin Price had ever known, but now it was looking as though the Book of Mormon was not the "be all-end all" he had been told it was. His whole life now seemed unwritten, unplanned. Suddenly, it was like the universe he had always known to be true was gone and a strange, bizarre new one had been put into it's place. The universe had done nothing but shock and deny him at every turn since he'd arrived in Uganda only a few days ago ( _wow_ , thought Kevin, _has it really only been a few days?_ ). He had been told all of his life that if he worked at it enough and did his best and tried really, really hard, that the universe would be kind to him in return. Since his mission began, the universe had been anything but kind.

He silently decided that maybe he would talk to Elder McKinley about it the next day. After all, Elder Connor McKinley was their mission's district leader, tasked with doling out spiritual and life advice if needed. He was a few years older than Elder Price and had a few more years of life experience under his belt. Besides, he knew Connor was a kind person. He was awfully funny too.

There was also the issue of his friendship with Arnold Cunningham, his mission companion. Just yesterday, Kevin had abandoned him after watching that guy get shot in the face. Not only that, but he then told Arnold to his face that he didn't want to be his companion anymore. Kevin knew he hadn't meant what he said. He truly didn't mean it and he felt just awful that he ever said it. Nothing seemed to be working out as planned. Kevin knew Arnold had already forgiven him and that this was all behind them now, but he still didn't feel right about it.

Kevin looked thoughtfully over at the still figure of his mission companion. Arnold was curled up into a ball underneath his covers, his brown curls sticking out slightly at the top by his pillow. The sight caused a small smile to creep onto Kevin's face.

"Hey, Elder?" Kevin's whisper was barely audible. If Arnold was indeed asleep, he didn't want to wake him. "Are you asleep, Elder Cun—I mean, Arnold?" Whispered Kevin in a hushed voice.

Arnold sat up a little in his bed and shook his head sleepily. "No, I'm awake." He whispered back. "I'm having trouble sleeping."

Kevin held up the teddy bear Arnold had given him. "Do you want Little Arnie?"

Arnold shook his head. "No, buddy." He yawned loudly and grinned. "He's yours tonight."

Kevin smiled meekly and nodded. "Okay." There was a brief pause.

Kevin cleared his throat before speaking again. "I just—I just wanted to tell you that I'm so sorry about what happened the other night." Kevin apologized in a soft voice. "I shouldn't have abandoned you like that. It was really selfish of me." He looked down at the bear, embarrassed.

Arnold leaned in closer to Kevin and waved him off. "Dude, you had just seen a guy get shot in the face for, like, no reason. His blood was all over your shirt. That's enough to make _anyone_ want to run away and never come back."

Kevin bit his lip. "You didn't." He said in a quiet voice and looked back up at Arnold.

Arnold shrugged. "Yeah, but you had WAY higher hopes for this whole thing than I did. All I was looking forward to was finally having a best friend who couldn't ditch me."

"And I blew it, didn't I?" Kevin asked quietly. "First I leave you like a selfish jerk and make you think I didn't want to be your friend." Kevin shook his head. "Then, I come back and try to make it better and end up making you and Elder McKinley…well…all this…well, you know." His face flushed in shame. "I wasn't a very good friend to you. And after everything you guys have done for me in the short amount of time I've been here…I don't know how to thank you. I really hope you still want to be my…friend."

Sure, Arnold _had_ been angry with Kevin the night he stormed out of the house, saying he wanted to transfer someplace else without him. To say Arnold's feelings were stung would have been an understatement. But that was all in the past now and Arnold wasn't at all angry with Kevin anymore. Arnold wasn't quite sure why Kevin would be concerned about him right now when he clearly had bigger problems to deal with.

"Kev, not only do I still want to be your friend, but..." Arnold's lips widened into his usual grin. "I still want to be your _best_ friend." Arnold exclaimed reassuringly.

"Can we just…start over? You and me?" Kevin asked, returning the smile.

"Sure, but, it's not like we have to or anything. We're cool." Arnold assured him.

"Hi, I'm Elder Kevin Price." Kevin reached out to Arnold and playfully shook his hand. "I'm your new mission companion."

Arnold grinned from ear to ear. "Nice to meet you, Elder Price! My name is Elder Cunningham."

Kevin beamed. "I'm really happy I got you as my companion, Elder Cunningham." He spoke in a genuine voice. "And I swear on…" Kevin quickly searched around for a Book of Mormon, but he didn't see one. "…this…adorable Teddy Bear…" He lifted up the Cunningham Teddy Bear and placed his hand over the bear's belly. "…that I will never, ever, under any circumstances, break Rule 72 again. From now on, where you go, I go."

Arnold pointed knowingly at Kevin and nodded his head excitedly. "Except…?"

Kevin shook his head and laughed. "Except…the bathroom."

Kevin and Arnold laughed together for a few moments before laying back down to go to sleep.

"Goodnight, Arnold." Kevin whispered quietly, clutching the bear.

"Goodnight, Kevin." Arnold replied in a loud whisper. "Sweet dreams."

 

* * *

 

Elder McKinley woke up around eleven in the morning. He felt a little bit better, but his sleep was far from restful. Images of Elder Price's assault plagued his dreams. He still couldn't believe everything that had happened the night before. He got up and slipped on his purple bunny slippers and began getting ready for the day. A nice warm shower and freshly brushed teeth helped him feel somewhat normal again. He put on his white dress shirt and pants and walked out to greet the other Elders.

Elders Pop-Tarts, Davis, and Church were sitting on the couch nervously and the other Elders were sitting on the floor or on chairs near the couch. They all jumped up when they saw McKinley finally step out of the room.

"Elder McKinley!" Elder Pop-Tarts screeched. "Oh my gosh! Is everything alright?"

"What's going on? How's Elder Price?" Elder Davis chimed in.

"We were all so worried!" Elder Church asked excitedly at the same time as Elder Davis.

Elder McKinley put up his hands and forced a smile to try and calm the group of Elders down.

"We're fine. We're all just…fine. Elder Price is back, safe and sound. He's alright, nothing's wrong, but he'll be sleeping in today. We had a bit of a late night last night. Sorry for getting up so late, guys." Connor felt guilty telling a slight lie about Kevin being fine, but he wasn't about to tell them all what really happened. If Kevin wanted them to know later on, he could tell them, but Connor wasn't going to just start blabbing it around.

Elder Pop-Tarts nodded. "That's okay, Elder. We were all just worried about you three, that's all. I mean, this is Africa…who knows what could've happened!"

"Yeah, I mean, first that guy gets shot in the face and Elder Price has blood all over him. Then he runs off...twice…and no one knows where he is. Meanwhile, we have to get all those baptisms done before we send the report to the Mission President!" Church squealed. "It's just too much! I can't take it…" He said, sitting down on the couch with his face in his hands. Elder Pop-Tarts took a seat next to him and put his arm around him.

Elder McKinley nodded with understanding. "Well, I for one am going to try to have the next few days be as uneventful as possible. We all just need to relax and calm down so we can think clearly. I'm calling the Zone Leader today to tell him we'll have to send the progress report next week due to some unforeseen…circumstances. I'll mention that we have a whole bunch of Africans interested in the Church and that we'll start baptizing away as soon as possible next week." He stated slowly, thinking about how he could get away with a mild lie about them all coming down with an illness. Or should he tell their leadership about Elder Price's predicament? He had no idea what the protocol was for that situation. "How does that sound to everyone?"

Pop-Tarts nodded. "But what about the baptisms? We're still doing those, right?"

"Of course!" McKinley exclaimed. "I just think we could all use a few days to relax, then we'll get right back to work next week."

The other Elders nodded and McKinley heard okays from the group.

"Good." He smiled. "Now does anyone want a late breakfast? I'm going to make food for Elder Price and Elder Cunningham."

Resounding yeses came from the group of Elders.

 

* * *

 

Connor went into the kitchen to see what they had in stock. It was hard to keep a supply of fresh food here since the market was considered to be dangerous. Every two weeks, a missionary from the city of Kampala would come and deliver supplies, but they were into their second week now so supplies were limited.

 _No eggs. No milk. No cheese. No…pop tarts. Figures._ Elder McKinley smiled inwardly to himself when he thought of Elder Thomas and his love for Pop-Tarts. Connor finally found a bag of flour, some partially melted butter, sugar, and water and figured he could make some type of pancake with that. He mixed up the batter and tasted it. _Bland._ _Maybe_ _we have chocolate…I bet Kevin probably loves chocolate._ Connor found a can of chocolate chips from one of the other Elder's birthday parties. _Perfect. Chocolate chip pancakes!_

Connor mixed up the chocolate chip pancake batter and started making the pancakes. He tried putting the batter into the pan certain ways so he could make shapes out the pancakes. He first attempted a Mickey Mouse since he knew Kevin loved Disney. That came out okay, but a little weird looking. Then he made several smile faces and a bunny. He made a few small silver dollar pancakes too for the other Elders. He found some orange juice in the refrigerator and a can of whipped cream.

He realized that Kevin may not wish to be with all of the other Elders quite so soon. He went over to Arnold and Kevin's door at about 12 noon and opened it up a crack. They were both still sleeping soundly, their chests rising and falling rhythmically. Connor closed the door behind him and returned about fifteen minutes later with two plates of pancakes and glasses of orange juice. He placed them on the small table that lived in between the Elders' beds and left a note to them saying they can come out whenever they felt comfortable.

As McKinley squirted whipped cream onto the boys' pancakes, the sound the can made was a little bit louder than he hoped it would be and Kevin woke up. The boy sleepily opened his eyes and was startled at Connor's presence next to his bed.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to wake you." Connor whispered to Kevin, sitting down on the edge of his bed and reaching an arm out to comfort him. "I didn't mean to startle you. You can go back to sleep."

"That's okay, it's late anyway—", Kevin paused momentarily, then his face lit up with a smile when he realized he smelled what seemed like yummy food. He sat up a little bit more and saw the steaming hot pancakes and whipped cream on the two plates. "Oh wow, pancakes!" He whispered loudly with excitement. "Thank you!" He then noticed the shape. "Is that…?"

Connor let out a whispered laugh. "It was supposed to be Mickey Mouse but between you and me it looks a little more like a rat."

Kevin grinned. "I love it, thank you." He looked over and realized they had chocolate in them. "They're chocolate too!"

Connor reached over to hand him the plate so he could eat it in bed. Arnold was still snoring in the bed next to them. "I thought you might like the chocolate chips. I just guessed you were probably a chocolate kind of guy."

Kevin beamed and took the plate, shoving a large bite full of pancake hungrily into his mouth. "Wanna try some?" Kevin mumbled through bites. "It's so good!"

Connor shook his head. "Nah, go ahead, it's for you."

"Oh, come on, it's so good." Kevin said through chews. Kevin went ahead and picked up a small piece of Mickey's ear with his fork and placed it in front of Connor's mouth. Connor laughed and greedily ate the bit.

Connor swallowed happily. "Wow, that is pretty good! Mickey is looking a little worse for the wear though."

Kevin laughed, but was trying to be quiet because Arnold was still sleeping.

"Oh my gosh, thank you! I don't think I've eaten a real meal in—" Kevin realized. "Wow, I really don't think I have eaten a real meal in two days now that I think about it…" He looked up at Connor and gave him a meaningful smile. "Thank you so much. This is delicious. You're the best district leader a missionary could ask for."

Connor blushed and looked at his hands. "Well, I really like cooking. When I was a new recruit, I was stationed in California and I used to stay up super late past curfew after all the Elders went to sleep just to watch Iron Chef re-runs on the Food Network." He sighed. "It's sounds kind of sad when I actually hear myself say it out loud like that."

Kevin grinned. "No, that's awesome! You'll have to teach me some time. I'm a terrible cook. I don't know how I'll ever live alone. My mom cooks…everything for me."

Connor smiled. "We don't have that much to work with here in Uganda. Culinary-wise, I mean."

The two boys looked over at Arnold who was still sleeping, but started to stir in his sleep.

Kevin whispered. "We're being loud."

Connor nodded. "You're welcome to come out and eat with all of us if you want. I made pancakes for the group." He paused and blushed. "You're the only one who got a Mickey though."

Kevin's eyes twinkled. "Thanks." He then sombered for a moment. "I'm not sure I want to face everyone right away, if that's alright." His face then froze. "You didn't…I mean you wouldn't…you haven't told them yet right?"

Connor shook his head and spoke quietly. "No, I haven't told them anything. You don't have to either if you don't want to."

Kevin thought about it for a moment. "I'm not sure yet. Is that okay?"

Connor's eyes seemed to gleam with a fondness for Kevin. "Of course that's okay. It can stay a secret until you don't want it to be a secret anymore. Okay?"

Kevin nodded. "Okay."

Connor smiled and got up to head for the door. "Well, I'm going to check on the other Elders. You may want to wake up Elder Cunningham soon so he can eat his pancakes while they're still warm."

Kevin spoke through another bite of pancake. "Okay!" He swallowed. "Would you mind if I stopped by later to…talk or something?"

"Any time." Connor assured him warmly.

Kevin blushed, a shy smile on his face. "Thanks. I'll knock on your door later maybe."

Connor was a little bit surprised at Kevin's words. He wasn't sure how much Kevin had warmed up to him. It was nice to know that Kevin trusted him enough to talk to him about things that were bothering him.

"I'll be here if you need me." Connor assured quietly and walked out to join the rest of the Elders for brunch.


	5. Chapter 5

After Kevin and Arnold finished their breakfasts, Arnold took a shower and went out to talk to the other Elders. They were all playing a board game in the living room and had asked Arnold and Kevin to join them. Arnold tried to get Kevin to come out of their bedroom to play the game, but Kevin declined, saying he needed to rest. It was a Wednesday afternoon and normally the Elders would be required to be out knocking on people's doors for the better part of the day, but Connor had told the group earlier that he wanted them all to stay in and relax for a few days. He was mainly doing this for Kevin, Arnold, and himself so they could decompress and digest recent events, but he knew the other Elders were also under a lot of pressure and could benefit from a brief respite. Kevin was definitely not in a state of mind where he should be out working and Arnold should be by his side during this difficult time.

After breakfast, Connor called the Zone Leader about their progress report due to the Mission President. Luckily, Connor was able to persuade them to post-pone their report to the following week on the grounds that they had recently witnessed several acts of violence and needed extra time with each other for prayer and study in order to process the events. _It's kind of a lie, but not really_ , thought Connor. _At least that's taken care of. We'll worry about it next week._

At about two o'clock in the afternoon, Kevin finally got out of his bed. He showered, shaved, and brushed his teeth, but he still wasn't quite ready to go out and mingle with the rest of the group just yet. He just didn't want to be bombarded with all kinds of questions about what happened the night before. It wasn't as though he didn't enjoy the company of the others – he did, but he just wasn't ready to talk about what happened. The only people he really wanted to talk to were Arnold and Elder McKinley, but they were with the rest of the Elders for most of the day since everyone was home.

Kevin laid back down in his bed for a few more hours after showering, clutching Arnold's teddy bear up to his chest. He quietly cried off and on throughout the day as random thoughts about his ordeal crossed his mind. His body was still quite sore and he walked with a slight limp from the pain where the book had been. When he looked at himself in the mirror, he nearly didn't recognize the reflection looking back at him. The skin around his left eye was a bit swollen and slightly purple from the punches he had endured and he could see a scatter of bruises on his chest, arms and legs. For some reason, he thought he would be all better by now, but it had only been a little over a day since the incident. Sighing, he just laid back down and tried not to think about it. He was planning to go and have a talk with Elder McKinley about everything he was thinking about his faith and his feelings, but he kept changing his mind every time he thought of having to leave the room.

It was now five o'clock at night and Kevin still had not yet emerged from his bedroom. Connor kept looking towards the door all day, hoping that Kevin would emerge smiling with a bright hello and ask to talk or participate in whatever they were doing, but he never came. Connor wanted desperately to go in and talk to him, but figured Kevin might need a little extra alone time to process everything that had happened and he wanted to respect that. Arnold kept going inside off and on throughout the day to talk to Kevin, trying to convince him to come out and join the others, but he just wouldn't budge. Connor peeked in a couple of times with Arnold whenever they were starting a new activity, but the answer was always the same.

At about six o'clock, Connor McKinley quietly excused himself from the group of Elders. They were all sitting around the living room, eating their dinner, getting ready to make popcorn and watch Connor's personal favorite of the "Missionary Training Center Approved" dvds they were allowed to bring to Uganda – _Mary Poppins._ The Elders rarely had this much free time during the mission, so this was a fun treat. Connor knew everyone desperately needed a break, that was for sure. He just wished Kevin was enjoying it as much as the others. Secretly, he was mainly doing this _for_ Kevin.

Connor fixed up a dinner plate for Kevin and knocked softly on his bedroom door. When he didn't receive an answer, he opened it up just a crack and peered inside. He saw Kevin laying in bed in his Mormon undergarments, clutching the teddy bear. He looked as though he had been crying again. He was laying on his side, eyes closed, his hair messy and tousled. Connor couldn't help but think Kevin looked adorable whenever his hair was in complete disarray like that.

"Kevin?" Connor asked softly in a concerned tone as he stuck most of his body through the crack in the door. "Is it okay if I come in?"

Kevin wiped his eyes and sat up with a slight wince. "Of course, Elder. Sorry, I thought you were Arnold coming to ask me to come out again. I told him I just don't feel up to it."

Connor nodded sadly and walked over to the bed and sat down on the edge next to Kevin's legs. He wanted to cheer Kevin up so badly, but wasn't exactly sure how to go about it.

"Dinner's ready!" He exclaimed with a melodic lilt in his voice and held up the plate of hamburger and potatoes. "No chocolate this time, but it's not too bad." He handed the boy his plate. "Eat, eat!"

Kevin beamed as he took the plate from Connor. "This smells amazing, thanks, Elder."

Connor shook his head. "No problem."

The redhead thought pensively for a moment before reaching out to lay a gentle hand on Kevin's leg. "Um, you know you can call me Connor when we're alone, right? I mean, if you want to…" Offered McKinley in an unsure voice. "Elder just sounds so _formal_. We're…friends…aren't we?"

Kevin's eyes widened slightly. "Of course! But that goes against protocol. You're our district leader. I should address you as Elder."

Connor's face fell in disappointment. "Sure, okay, whatever you want." He opened his mouth as if to say something else, but then bit his lip and closed his mouth as though he thought better of it.

Kevin saw it though. "What's up?" He asked through a mouthful of hamburger and potato.

Connor's eyes glistened with unshed tears. "I'm just a little worried about you, Kevin, that's all." He admitted quietly. "You seemed to be doing so much better this morning, but now you seem very…sad again. You didn't come out of your room all day. We had games and movies…" He didn't want to admit that the fun was really meant mostly for Kevin and that he deliberately tried to make coming out of his room seem enticing, but it just didn't work. At the same time, he also didn't want to pressure him, considering what had happened.

Connor's face flushed red as he looked down at his lap. "I guess I'm pretty silly for thinking a Mickey pancake and some games would make this all better, huh?"

Kevin reached over and rested a hand on Connor's shoulder. "No, not at all. I loved my pancakes this morning, Elder McKinley...really. That was so nice of you and it did make me feel a _lot_ better." He gave McKinley a warm smile then paused. "But then I started to imagine going out there and having to face everyone's questions about what happened to me and I just…couldn't do it. I didn't want to talk about it with the others. But I didn't want to lie to them either and make up some fake story. I mean, look at my face…" Kevin pointed to his eye. "They'll want to know what happened."

Connor took a look at Kevin's swollen eye and stood up. "Let me go get you an ice pack for that eye and I'll reapply the healing balm to your cuts and bruises too, if you want."

Kevin nodded and a few minutes later, Connor came back with the ice pack and pressed it gently over Kevin's eye.

"Feel better?" Connor asked soothingly.

Kevin nodded with a small smile. "It does, thanks."

Connor and Kevin were quiet for a few moments while Connor applied a bit of healing balm over the wounds on Kevin's chest and arms. He didn't want to think about it because he knew Kevin was hurting, but he really did love being so close to him. _Stop it_ , thought McKinley, _you're not gay…you're not…gay!_

It was so difficult for Connor whenever he had these thoughts. It wasn't as though they were even overt sexual thoughts either. Well, at least not most of the time. The majority of the time, it was just a good feeling that flooded through him, a natural urge to be closer to the other person. A feeling of wanting to be with the person all the time and not wanting to say goodbye.

 _Is this how everyone else feels for girls?_ He wondered silently to himself.

For Connor, it just so happened that the person he had these feelings for was male. And Kevin.

 _Stop, stop, stop…turn it off!_ _You're not gay, you're not gay!_ McKinley repeated the mantra to himself as he applied the healing balm to Kevin's wounds. He still couldn't fathom how anyone could look at Kevin's adorably boyish face and hurt him like that. It sickened Connor's stomach to even think about it.

After Elder McKinley finished applying the balm, he shifted his focus to trying to get Kevin to come out of the room.

"You know… I _could_ ask the other Elders _not_ to ask you about what happened. They have to listen to me, right?" Connor grinned at Kevin hopefully. "Then, will you maybe…come out and join us? We're going to make popcorn and watch a movie. It'll be fun, I promise! They won't ask you anything, I won't let them."

Kevin shrugged and thought pensively for a moment. "I…guess…I guess that could be okay. Maybe? I don't know."

"We're watching _Mary Poppins_! That's a Disney movie! Come on…please? For me and Elder Cunningham?" Connor was desperately trying to get him to come out of the room.

Kevin smiled inwardly at Elder McKinley's enthusiasm. "I've heard of that movie, but I don't think I've ever seen it." Kevin said. "Maybe once when I was _really_ little."

"What? Are you serious?" Connor asked in a feigned horror. "Okay, well now you _have_ to come out and watch this movie, Kevin. It's a classic. It's Julie Andrews, Dick Van Dyke. There's singing and dancing and flying nannies. And the best part is it's an approved Mission Movie, so we're not even breaking the rules!" Connor exclaimed happily. _Please come_ , McKinley thought to himself. "Disney, Kevin!"

Kevin shook his head and looked down at his lap. He really did want to hang out with the others, but something was stopping him. "I don't think so, not today."

Connor's face fell, but then he thought of one last ditch effort he could make. "Alright, you asked for it." McKinley said teasingly and cleared his throat and started singing melodically.

"Who's the leader of the club that's made for you and me? M-I-C-K-E-Y…M-O-U-S-E!" Connor took singing and dance lessons for much of his childhood, so his singing was actually very pleasant to Kevin's ears.

Kevin burst into laughter at Connor's sudden outburst of the Mickey Mouse Club theme song and Connor thought it was one of the most beautiful sounds he'd ever heard.

"M-I-C…see you real soon!" Connor began acting out the song with a small dance, waving at Kevin. "…K-E-Y….Why? Because we like you!" Connor stepped closer to the bed and spread out his arms. "…M-O-U-S-EEEEE!"

Kevin finally controlled his laughter long enough to answer the other Elder. "Okay, okay…fine, Elder…you win. I'll come." He said with an unsteady voice and a half-smile. Elder McKinley clearly wanted Kevin to join them and he had to admit he wasn't enjoying himself very much alone in his room.

A huge grin came over Connor's face. "Yes! That's great. I'll go tell the other Elders that you're going to join us, but not to ask you about last night."

"Don't you think that will just make them more curious?" Kevin asked, a small smile playing on his lips.

"Maybe, but they won't ask you anything as long as I'm there, I promise. We just want you to have some fun." McKinley assured him.

Kevin still felt a little fearful about facing everyone after what happened, but he sure felt a lot better about it now. One thing was for sure, Elder McKinley seemed to always know how to cheer Kevin up. Arnold always knew how to make Kevin feel better too, but Elder McKinley made him feel a little bit _different_ inside—Kevin couldn't quite put his finger on it, but whenever Elder McKinley came in to try and cheer Kevin up, he always ended up feeling a thousand times better afterward. Kevin shrugged it off and just assumed he probably just really took his role as district leader seriously and wanted to make sure Kevin was well taken care of.

 

* * *

 

Connor stepped out of Kevin's room and greeted the rest of the group.

"Alright, Elders. Sorry for the delay in movie watching, but Kevin is going to come out and join us and I just wanted to ask that you not ask him what happened last night. Can you guys do that for me? We need to be there for him and be supportive, but he really isn't up for talking about it right now. Is that clear? Everyone understand?" Elder McKinley asked to the group of concerned Elders.

Yesses came from all around, much to Elder McKinley's happiness. "Great! I'll go get him. Elder Pop-Tarts, why don't you put the movie in and get that going? Arnold, can you go get the popcorn?"

Arnold nodded and then looked up at Elder McKinley with a bewildered expression on his face. "How did you get him to agree to come out? I've been trying all day!"

Elder McKinley smiled in reply to Arnold. "I'm just glad he is!"

* * *


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone,
> 
> I started this story (chapters 1-5) about 8 or 9 months ago and am picking it back up now. I went through and edited most of the previous chapters to fix spelling/grammar typos and just made some general edits. In light of that and the fact that so much time has passed, I would suggest that if you had read the story previously, to re-read it now with the latest edits and additional chapter. I will try to keep updating this one regularly from now on! :)

Connor didn’t even try to contain the giant grin that erupted onto his face when he saw Kevin Price cautiously step out of his bedroom and take a seat beside him on the couch. Connor could see the trepidation in Kevin’s eyes and tried to ease his worries just a little by giving him a reassuring nod and friendly pat on the knee.

All the Elders welcomed Kevin warmly with smiles and encouraging words, all the while obeying Connor’s request not to inquire about Kevin’s whereabouts the night before or ask about what happened to him. Connor could tell the other Elders were curious, especially as they observed Kevin’s swollen eye and the many bruises that dusted the exposed skin of his lower arms and neck. Connor sure was glad when nobody mentioned anything beyond a concerned glance or generic well wishes.

“Kev! I’m so happy you came out!” Arnold cried out in glee as he traipsed back out into the living room, a giant bowl of popcorn in his arms. He took a seat on the other side of the couch so that Kevin could be sandwiched between Connor and Arnold, the two people he’d grown closest to over the past couple of days.

Kevin cleared his throat nervously. “Well, when Elder McKinley told me you guys were all watching a _Disney_  movie, I guess I just couldn’t resist.” He offered in a tone more timid and nervous than his usual confident self. He was still feeling a bit anxious about facing the other Elders so soon after his ordeal with the General.

“It’s gonna be great, buddy.” Arnold grinned and wrapped a rather overeager arm around his friend, pulling him close and offering him some popcorn. Kevin laughed happily into Arnold’s friendly embrace, but not without sending a grateful glance over at Connor, who replied to his silent ‘thank you’ with a small nod and encouraging smile.

They dimmed the lights down low and started up the movie. All throughout, one could hear whispered chit-chat mixed with giggles and hungry boys munching and crunching on popcorn, accompanied by the occasional loud slurps of soda.

“Shhh! Be quiet, guys!” Connor shushed the group of chattering Elders about halfway through the movie, a giant grin on his face. Julie Andrews and Dick Van Dyke were about to start singing  _Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious_  and he didn’t want Kevin to miss any of it, as it was his absolute favorite song from the movie.

“This is my favorite part!” Connor whispered excitedly to Kevin, who nodded with a grin and sat up a little straighter to pay close attention.

“You know, they added the word  _supercalifragilisticexpialidocious_  to the dictionary in 1986 because of Mary Poppins.” Connor whispered into Kevin’s ear as the song was concluding, quite proud of his extensive knowledge of the film.

“That was a great song.” Kevin offered with a small smile. “I’ll have to listen to it again once we get back home.” He shrugged. “You know, not being allowed to bring any music with us on the mission and all.”

Connor chuckled softly and gave him a playful nudge in the belly. “I have a feeling you won’t need to wait that long.” He said with a wink. “I’ll show you after the movie.”

“What?  _No_ …you—?” Kevin’s eyes widened in surprise as he tried to suppress the urge to break out into giggles at this latest revelation. “No—no way…”

Connor laughed quietly and placed a finger over Kevin’s lips as to not reveal his secret. “Shhh.”

 _“You_ broke the rules?” Kevin whispered softly enough so no one else could hear him, shocked amusement apparent in his voice.

“You didn’t really think you were the first missionary to ever break the rules—did you, Elder Price?” Connor asked wittingly, his mouth twisting and contorting in an attempt hide a rather mischievous grin. He placed a finger over his own lips to signal it was time to stop talking about this now.

Connor turned his sparkling blue eyes back to the movie, leaving Kevin trying (and failing) to stifle a giggle beside him. Arnold hunched forward, looking over at his best friend and District Leader eagerly, wondering what funny joke he’d just missed.

 

* * *

 

“Okay, come on in. Lock the door behind you.” Connor instructed in a hushed whisper to Kevin as they snuck into his office after the movie ended, the redhead giggling softly at the fact that he was sharing one of his best kept secrets with Kevin.

Connor’s office was small, cramped, and located in the far back of the house. Kevin watched as Connor knelt down to the floor and opened up one of the floorboards. After rummaging around for a minute, he pulled out a whole host of contraband—items missionaries were prohibited from having on their mission.

“What the—?” Kevin laughed so hard, he nearly keeled over as Connor pulled out more and more items, one by one. Connor grinned wildly and motioned for Kevin to come sit down beside him on the floor.

“We have several Harry Potter books.” Connor handed three of them to Kevin, who still just could not stop giggling. “A CD player, an iPod…” He handed those items to Kevin, who had to resign to discarding Harry Potter on the floor so he could check out the latest items. “A cell phone.”

Kevin shook his head as Connor kept on pulling more and more items out of the floor. “This is insane! Is there anything you didn’t bring with you?”

Connor giggled and bit his lip shyly “And my personal favorite— _voila_! A jar of instant coffee.” He handed the forbidden granules to Kevin, whose wide eyes just got wider.

“I completely underestimated you, Elder McKinley.” Kevin grinned wildly, turning the jar over in his hands, gazing at it as though it were diamonds.

Connor pulled his legs up to his chest, wrapping his arms around them and resting his chin in his knees. He gave Kevin a shy shrug. “To tell you the truth, I’ve never actually tried the coffee. One of the villagers gave it to me my first week here and I just haven’t gotten rid of it. I thought it made a nice addition to my secret stash though.”

Feigning seriousness for just a moment, he shook his finger at Kevin. “But don’t get any ideas, okay? This is straight up hedonism you’re seeing right here.”

“Oh, yeah.” Kevin picked up the first Harry Potter book and gave Connor a knowing look. “Filth.”

Chuckling at Kevin’s quip, Connor shrugged. “Yeah, it’s not really that bad ass, but it’s all I’ve got and I thought you could use a good laugh.” His eyes twinkled bright as he gazed up at Kevin. He didn’t expect to find Kevin’s eyes gazing right back into them with the same sort of twinkle.

 _Stop it_.  _Stop, stop, stop_. Connor silently chided himself for having those kinds of thoughts about another boy. The thoughts about Kevin were constant. They never seemed to leave him alone—not even for a moment.

Biting down hard on his bottom lip and snapping out of it, Connor leaned over and picked up the iPod and headphones and handed them to Kevin. “Mary Poppins is on here, along with most of the Disney movie soundtracks. Go on, take it.” He urged with a smile when he realized Kevin wasn’t budging.

Kevin opened his mouth to protest. “Oh, I can’t. This belongs to you, Elder McKinley. You should use it.”

Connor shook his head, his smile full of fondness for Kevin. “No, I insist. Go on, take it. It’s yours now. At least until the mission’s over. You need it more than I do right now.” He urged gently, pushing the item back into Kevin’s lap. “This way, whenever things start to feel like they’re just too much to deal with, you can just close your eyes and listen to some Pocahontas or something.”

Kevin’s eyes glistened as he nodded sadly and reluctantly took the gift back from Connor’s hands. “Thank you.” He whispered, looking down at his lap with a bit of a melancholy look on his face as he clutched his new contraband in his hands.

“Hey.” Connor scooched closer to Kevin and gave him a pat on the knee. “Don’t worry, if anyone finds it, you just say it’s mine, okay?” He assumed that was the reason Kevin’s face suddenly fell. “You don’t need to worry. I take full responsibility for it, Kevin.”

The other boy gave Elder McKinley a soft smile. “You and Arnold are the only ones who call me that, you know. _Kevin_ , I mean.”

Elder McKinley blushed deep red. “Well…after you’ve been through what we’ve been through, I think we can be on a first name basis now, don’t you think?” The redhead urged gently, reaching out to take Kevin’s hand into his own. The other boy hesitantly allowed Connor to grab hold of his hand and soon felt Connor give him a tender, reassuring squeeze. The touch sent a tiny little tingle through Kevin’s body that he’d never felt before.

“Speaking of which—“, Connor continued, hesitating just a bit before lowering his voice. “Have you… given any more thought to maybe calling me, um… _Connor_? At least, when we’re alone like this.”

McKinley watched as Kevin’s eyes filled with worry at the mere  _prospect_ of not calling his District Leader by his formal title. Connor wasn’t sure why something so simple seemed to affect Kevin so much, but he tried his best to lighten the mood.

Connor continued with a sly grin. “I mean, I’ve already shown you my secret stash of things we’re not supposed to have on the mission, so clearly that makes us friends. United in blasphemy!” He joked lightly and gave Kevin a soft, yet playful, punch in the arm. “Right?”

Finally, Connor saw Kevin’s lips curl up into a small, rather timid smile. Elder Price looked down and nodded slowly. After a few moments, he glanced back up to meet Elder McKinley’s eyes. “Okay, maybe you’re right… _Connor_.”

Connor grinned like no tomorrow as he heard his first name fall out of Kevin’s mouth like cool rain water. “Thanks… _Kevin_.”

After a moment of smiling in contentment at one another, Connor awkwardly cleared his throat and placed all of his contraband securely back into the floorboard and stood up, dusting off his black dress pants.

“Well, at the risk of sounding more like your District Leader than your friend, I really think you ought to get to bed now.” He smiled warmly and reached down to help Kevin up off the floor. “You had a long day yesterday and should rest up some more, so you can get your strength back and everything.”

“That’s fine, I’m pretty tired anyway. Goodnight, Elder McK—“, Kevin laughed when Connor cut him off by holding a finger to his lips. “Sorry, sorry… _Connor_. Goodnight, Connor.”

“That’s better.” Connor grinned and removed his finger from Kevin’s lips. “Goodnight, Kevin.”

 

* * *

 

A couple days later, Kevin and Arnold were playing chess on Kevin’s bed. Arnold was teaching Kevin how to play, the latter boy not really paying enough attention to the game to even come close to winning. All of the Elders were still enjoying their brief respite from proselytizing, their report to the mission president having been moved to the following week. Elder McKinley had made sure this whole week was to be filled only with relaxation, games, and fun—hoping that some rest and comfort from his friends would be enough to propel Kevin Price back to his normal, happy self.

“Yoo hoo, Kev!” Arnold waved a hand in front of his friend, a grin plastered on his face. “It’s your turn, buddy.”

Snapping out of his thoughts, Kevin went to move. “How many spots can pawns move again?”

“Only one, unless it’s the first move for that pawn. Then it’s two.” Arnold explained. “I’d go with…this one.” He pointed to one at the far corner of the board. Kevin moved it two spaces forward without really giving the other pieces any further thought.

“You feelin’ okay, bud?” Arnold asked soothingly as he moved his own piece. “You seem pretty down in the dumps today. I mean, I know that’s expected and all, considering what’s happened to you.” He bit his lip and reached out to touch Kevin’s arm. “You know you can always talk to me about anything, right? How you’re feeling, what you’re thinking…that’s what best friends are for, ya know.”

Kevin had to smile at that. He nodded in agreement, his lips curling up at Arnold’s kind words. “I know that, Arnold. Thanks.”

“So what’s been on your mind then?” He asked after Kevin made his move. “I mean, besides…” He waved his hand in the air to indicate the obvious. “…you know, the _incident_.”

Kevin sighed and shook his head. “To be honest, Arnold, it’s…it’s Elder McKinley.” He started, not exactly sure where he was going with this. He watched Arnold’s eyes widen—he must not have been expecting  _that_  to come out of Kevin’s mouth. “He—he asked me to call him  _Connor_ , Arnold. I mean, only when we’re alone together, but still.”

Arnold arched an eyebrow quizzically and shrugged. “So what? Is that not his real name or something?”

“No, it is his real name. It’s his first name.” Kevin clarified.

“Then I don’t see the big deal.” Arnold shrugged. “The whole Elder thing doesn’t really make a whole lot of sense to me anyway.” The larger boy made his move after Kevin just lazily pushed a pawn around again. “I mean, we’re only nineteen years old. Why should anyone call us ‘Elder’ anyway? It’s pretty stupid, if you ask me. Your move.”

Kevin laughed and shook his head in bewilderment. “You are like…literally the worst Mormon ever.” He gave Arnold a look that made the chubbier boy fall down laughing on the bed. After calming down, Arnold sat back up with a snort and motioned for Kevin to make his move.

Kevin shook his head wistfully. “But it’s not just that.” He paused, putting down the piece he was holding for a second and glancing up at Arnold. “I feel like he treats me different? Or something?”

“Different how?” Arnold asked.

“I don’t know.” Kevin shook his head. “Like, the morning after I got…hurt.” Kevin swallowed hard at the recollection. “He made me Mickey Mouse pancakes. He said I was the only one who got Mickey pancakes, everyone else just got regular ones.”

Arnold laughed with a head shake. “Yeah, well, you had just been assaulted, Kevin. I’m sure he was just being extra nice. You know, trying to make you feel better.”

“Oh, I know he was.” Kevin clarified, his eyes wide. “I know he was only trying to make me feel better. That’s not what I meant.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

“Do you think he…” Kevin paused for a moment, biting his lip, and shook his head. “No, never mind.”

“No way, Kev. What were you gonna say?” Arnold urged.

“Nothing, it’s stupid. Your move, Arnold.” Kevin tried to deflect Arnold’s prodding.

“Come on, just tell me.” Arnold reached out and took Kevin’s hand. “I won't tell him you said anything, I promise.”

Kevin shrugged and looked down at his lap. “Well, I mean, we all know Elder McKinley is…” He waved his hand in the air as if that should explain it. “You know…he’s, um…”

“Gay?” Arnold asked as though the answer should be obvious.

“Yeah, he’s gay…that’s what I meant.” Kevin sighed with a head shake. “And remember that whole speech he gave us our first night here about how he always has to ‘turn it off’?”

“Yes…”

“Well.” Kevin sighed and wrung out his hands nervously. “I feel like he might have… _those_  kinds of feelings for… _me_? I mean, at least, I get the feeling he does. I feel like he just…treats me a little different than he does everybody else…like I’m special or something.” He paused for a moment, awaiting Arnold’s input. “Well, what do you think? Am I crazy or does he maybe… _like_  me…like that?”

“To be honest, this is a little over my head, Kev.” Arnold admitted, scooting back from the game to ponder the question a bit more.

“Well, um…how—how did you know when you liked Nabulungi like that?” Kevin asked quietly, not wanting to admit that he was more so asking for himself, not Connor.

Kevin had been having some pretty weird feelings lately when it came to Elder McKin—er,  _Connor_. It seemed the more time he spent alone with his District Leader, the more time he  _wanted_  to spend with him. That want could have been platonic, Kevin thought. He didn’t really know since he’d never had a crush on anyone before. He had no idea what a crush was even supposed to feel like.

He tried to chalk these feelings up to just enjoying the attention Connor was paying Kevin—you know, making sure he was okay and doing well and feeling supported in the aftermath of the whole ordeal with the General. Yeah, that was probably it. But, still, it wouldn’t hurt to gather some more data on the subject from Arnold.

Arnold snorted. “What do you mean ‘how did I know’? Did you not _see_  how hot she is?”

Kevin rolled his eyes. “Come on, I know you like her for more than just ‘how hot she is’.” He grinned at Arnold and gave him a playful kick in the leg. “Now, spill.”

Arnold blushed pink and gave Kevin a small smile. It took him a few moments to form an answer. “I don’t know, Kev. It’s kind of hard to pinpoint  _why_ you like someone like that. It’s just a feeling, you know? Like…when you’re not with the person, you find yourself thinking about them a lot. And then when you do get to see them, you get all happy inside and stuff. But then when it’s time to say goodbye, you just really don’t wanna go. I mean, you’d give anything to stay even just five more minutes with them.” Arnold mused quietly, trying to really think of how to quantify all the complicated and crazy feelings one has when they have a crush on someone. “I guess, to put it simple, that person just makes you feel  _really_ good, you know?”

Arnold twiddled his thumbs for a bit as he watched Kevin furrow his brow in deep thought. “Well, does that help you at all, bud?” He asked, to no response. “Kev?”

Kevin shot his head up and forced a smile. “Yeah, I think it does. Thanks, Arnold.” He got up to stretch and gestured to the game. “I think I’m all chessed out for today, Arnold. Mind if I go take a little walk?”

Arnold jumped out of bed. “Sure, let me just get my shoes on!”

“Oh, no, I meant…I meant, um, just me, this one time. I just really need some time alone to think some things over.” Kevin admitted softly. “I hope you don’t mind?”

Arnold looked a little crushed but shook his head. “Nah, that’s fine, buddy.”

“Maybe you should go find Nabulungi?” Kevin grinned, giving him a quick wink. “Invite her over for dinner or something.”

“You know, that’s not a bad idea!” Arnold exclaimed, running to throw his shoes on before heading for the door. “I’ll see you later, buddy.”

Now all Elder Kevin Price had left to do was ponder his sexuality, his faith, and whether or not he did indeed have a crush on their redheaded District Leader.  _Yikes_.


End file.
